My great grandmother died last year, but they keep sending her peanuts.

But they come to my house now, in a nice yellow envolope. And everytime I bend the bronze tab to release the contents inside, the birth of DEATH PEANUTS comes alive:

I offered my friend one. And she ate it.

I offered another friend one. And he ate it.

I offered my teacher one. And she ate it.

I offered my crush one. And he refused it.

"What!?" I explaimed in angwish, "You cannot reject the Death Peanut! Do you know what happens when you do that?..... they EXPLODE! And do you have any idea how many of these damn things I've eaten already!?"

There was silence... I think he wanted to kill me.

"I reject them." He purred to me.

BOOM! My friend exploded.
KAPOW! My other friend blew up.
POP! Followed by the teacher...
And it was now my turn.

I cried and waited for my body to stretch beyonds its limits and erupt. But to my surprise it did not come.

Crunch! My crush ate a peanut!
Munch! He ate another one.

How can this be? Do he really care for me? Or does he taunt me with glee?

"Ow." He said.

"What is it my love?"

"There hard."

"Yes... they are. It's called rigor mortis."

He never spoke to me again. But I don't mind. Because he ate a Death Peanut and saved me! Hehehe... I think he likes my nuts.